Blogging freedom...

Was about to blog something this morning but luckily I didn't...
if not I would have been charged
later in the evening i did a survey for melvin...
and it made me realise...
"It's so tight... I can't breathe"...
Being in a society where sensitive issues are abundant...
And heart-felt feelings are kept deep in the heart and are not spoken...
For the "Greater Good" of this society...
To me I think otherwise...
In fact bottling up of this feelings is detrimental to everyone...
You never one day when these feelings kept deep deep down there might just be the ones that can destroy all that we have
I acknowledge that fact that there are proper channels to voice views, open discussions, even tv shows...
But as I blogger I would feel disgusted and even angry if I'm arrested for blogging my feelings...
I mean...
simply, even when blogging is a public media, we must always bear in mind that there is a CHOICE involved...
If you dun like my blog you can CHOOSE not to read,
If you dun like what I'm saying you can CHOOSE not to visit my blog,
If you THINK that what I'm saying now is detrimental to the you, your mental condition, your feelings, pls... its just a feeling and its just a blog... more importantly its your CHOICE...

Lets just put it into one of my analogies:
If you're walking on the road and you see a dustbin and its NOT even blocking your way, do you?
a) destroy the dustbin
b) just avoid the dustbin

The dustbin is obviously there for somebody else's comfort and probably that person also doesn't know that you'll be there at that moment, sees the trash and report to the authorities that they are offended by your trash.

However, I'm not trying to speak up for those who have been arrested. I have not seen or read their blogs and therefore I'm in no position to discuss, but I just want to have the assurance of the democracy. Can I?

Hope you're ok...

Old Schoolmates Outing + Shouwen's actual birthday celebration

Sounds funny but its true...
And tts what I told my grandma...
I went for 老同学聚会...
Shucks... Make everyone sound so old ah... paisei...

Went to AMK to eat 煮炒...
Very economical... $44 bucks for 4 big dishes...
Plus BIG BOSS Yee Haun brought a chicken to potluck...
Fantastic meal for 12...

After that went K @ Paradiz
Shiok... Plain good luck...
Birthday boy won us our cover charge...
Paying only for the drink and nuts and +++
$11 for 5 hours of singing...
Filled the craving le....

The End Of The Ducks

" The ducks
we prefer to kill
at one go.
They don't eat so well
when one is gone."

Does this old peasant's
saying apply
to human beings too?
Does it perhaps explain
the plans for atomic war?

Probably not
because human beings
are not ducks.
They eat just as well
when a few are gone.

Thanks bro...

Thanks bro for covering up my track for me...
Maybe you dun even know what I'm talking about...
Or maybe you can act blur and pretend that you dun know what I'm talking about...
Or maybe you'll be thick skin and accept my thanks...

But still I wanna thank you, for always being there to cover my tracks. Even though you're just a couple of days older than me, but to me you're like an elder bro to me... Through you I see myself, through you I learn, through you I experience...

You are not the star that shine the brightest, but you are the one that shines so that the others stars around you can light the world.

Birthdays

Celebrated 3 pple's birthday today...
Shouwen, Kaiting and Stef...

Slept till quite late today...
Went to Hougang then walk to the condo...
Still early, watched some people fish at the canal...

Simple yet innovative backdrop...
Easy to setup and easy to dismantle...
I think the whole backdrop itself already describes what kind of person he is like...
Always full of innnovative ideas...

Play a few games like [Polar Bear] among ourselves...
Got a few of them stuck in the [Magic Squares aka Nine Squares]...
I was reminded that I once learnt how to play this game almost 2 years ago...
made me crack my brains once...


After shouwen's birthday celebration we gave Kaiting a 'surprise'...
Cause she like got '戒心' so it wasn't as surprising as it should be...
ahaha
but still it was good...

Had a long debate on whether to go down to Aloha Loyang to give Steph a birthday surprise...
Actually its a long and sensitive issue that I wouldn't dicuss here...
So some of us went down and yar...
Bought a cake from at Pasir Ris Central...
The surprise would been better if we had a nearer FUP...
Lol
... Made us sing the birthday song twice before we even reach her..
Ahaha...
Still it was good...
I always believed that no one should be left behind...
And I always believed that 她不是那种人....
Even though some may have alternative views...
But I strictly reserve this as my personal view...
You can disagree all you want to...
I dun care...

Missed yesterday's Camp Chalet...
Missed the mahjong...
I'm sorry Goh...
but I really see no point going...

Fearsome Friday

Today marks the start of the recess week...
It also marks the start of a serious struggle to stay focused on studying.

Quite disappointed.
Cloudy Night.
where are the stars?

Anyone going swimming tmr morning?

Sian

the photoshop workshop is full... damn...
overwhelming response they claim..
sigh...
should have went there to sign up instead of mugging...

Pissed...

Went out to science TWICE today...
because the poster of the IEEE Photoshop Workshop said the registration booth is outside Lt26
BUT, there's only a blood-drive booth out there...

I'm not the only one... but guess I'll crash the workshop if I have to... wahaha :P
Poor organisational skills... lucky I din join the club...

Lucky

Luckily I'm not staying in hall!

Haha... yesterday night pei shishi and huiqing (actually is shishi pei huiqing) to go Sheares to look at their buaya week event... I was stunned la... All the effort they put in... All of them could have been a top graduate...

Anyway, this event is something like angel and mortal game...
But, it involves the buaya to do stuffs for their partners secretly, and the buayee to do likewise for their assigned guys... then comes the revelation night when everyone shall come to know who has been doing for whom...

Totally effort! 100% and then some... All the lovenotes, all the deco, all the 爱的宣言... ahaha...
Yee Haun received like 20 small love notes from the same person in like 30mins?! ahaha... 是我的话就爱死他了...

That's why I shouldn't stay in hall, too much activities that are really fun but takes up too much time...
I dun have that discipline.
Thank God I'm not staying in hall...

jialat

think I rest too much..
losing focus...
oversleeping comes back...
jialat

Blog

I changed my blogskin again...
This time something simple..
black and white...
and no songs..

But it will change soon..
Something better will come along...
When I master the art of dreaming( shortfor dreamweavering)

My math lecturer is a joker...

He is a old tee-ko...
If you know what that means...

Halfway through explaining the concepts of 3 Dimensional Spaces, he was about to repeat what he has explained so he says this," Let me come again." Well, of course we know that it means that he's going to explain it again.
BUT, he pause again and says,"Maybe I shouldn't say that in public."

Funny, no, I dun think so
He's just guilty :P

Cold Jokes - From CS1101C lecture

1.You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!"
- That's Direct Marketing

2.You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says:"He's very rich. Marry him."
- That's Advertising

3.You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say:"Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."
- That's Telemarketing

4.You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?"
- That's Public Relations

5.You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:
You are very rich! Can you marry ! me?"
- That's Brand Recognition

6.You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
- That's Customer Feedback

7.You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
"I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband.
- That's demand and supply gap

8.You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him
- That's competition eating into your market share

9.You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say:
"I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives.
- That's restriction for entering new markets

Outing 2006

Ahaha...it's been quite a while since we had an outing...
This time its organised by Hui Qing...
Went to Minds cafe to play till dinner time...
Had a great time...
and yes Kai Ting... we're not best of the partners...
I'm just too rigid and 'engineer'...
ahaha

Kept changing games cause the games became boring very quickly...
And Hui Qing asked for more 'Action-Packed' one...
Thanks bro...
I always nv bring enuff $$ out..
ahaha... will pay you back when I see you in school...

Bored

Getting a bit bored...
Spending my time wastefully on maplestory...
I'm just bored...

First 2 days of the recess week,
got a photoshop workshop.
Yay, d/l for so long le...
finally got chance to learn how to use it properly...
Cause all the tutorials are non-understandable...
wahaha...

Rest

I happily declared yesterday night 'rest'...
So I happily recovered all the sleep that I lost the past few days...

Super paiseh la...
Yesterday said so loudly that I want to go for morning devotion...
ahaha
oops
I think today's morning devotion should have a lot of peopple bah...
I think I'll rest today... not much tutorial I can do anyway...
I'll take my time to sort out my concepts bah...

我是不是很傻。。。
明知道我们不可能。。。
我把你的照片印刷出来。。。
不，我不是变态。。。
我也没有将它贴在墙上。。。
其实，我也不知道为什么我会那么做。。。

Updates and updates

Lesson's over for today...

Programming Lab was much easier than I originally thought...
Haha... when I downloaded the lab manual last night, I was stunned...
Totally didn't know how to begin...
Met Gerald before the lab and got some hints...
And eventually I finished my lab so quickly...
15 mins and I'm done...
wahaha...

Already started revision for mid-term...
Not that I kiasu..
Just tagging the pages for the open-book tests...
But 1 week to study I wouldn't think that it's enough..
Besides, I want this to be a good start...
At least convince myself that I'm up to the challenge of the scholars...

Now waiting for the others..
Having a felllowship later...
Initially was supposed to be playing badminton, but there were some unexpected screw ups so, we might just be playing bball or something else...

Zonked out last night...
Think I'm exhausted...
woke up with my laptop still switched on...
when Yeehaun called me...
Sigh...
12 bucks well spent on rushing down for the econs lecture... I couldn't imagine what would it be like if I missed this lecture...


Yesterday read this article on Newsweek...
People normally think that science and religion can never mix...
But come to think of, not only could scince and religion mix, science can even be a proof for religion...
Just think of the Discovery of Noah's Ark in Turkey!
What impressed me in the article was that modern telescopes could see the light emitted by stars several hundred billions years ago!
The massive gravitational field have become a magnifying glass through which we see the stars of the beginning...

The research states that in the beginning was the big bang....
And before that there was no matter...
Tremendous amounts of Energy, E=mc^2 was released into space...
These energies become the very first element to be created... Hydrogen
Due to the extensive gravitational field, the hydrogen began to cluster...
The tremendous force cause the hydrogen to burst out in flames, forming the very first stars
These stars were huge but short lived... And they gave rise to others elements that we know, carbon, nitrogen, oxygen...
Only after these stars died then the galaxies that we know of today are formed...
Now, how plausible it is, for the elements to gatherwith such precise combination, that lifeforms such as man, can live?
Only someone as great as the creator isn't it?
How did the animals come to have the so-called "basic" instinct to reproduce?
It's God who instructed them to do so! Gen 1:22, 28
How did the plants come to bear fruits and seeds or in each of their ways propagate?
It's God who "programmed" them to do so! Gen 1:11-12

Even at present time we can see stars that are way way back in time... Does that mean time is no longer a limitation? Studies have already shown that time is relative... A person ages slower when he is put in space... Apparently, there would have be a mistake in our definition of time! What is time? If we do not know what is time, how do we even rebuke and reject the notion that our Almighty God created the world in 7 days? What is 1 day to God? 1 day in heaven is like a thousand days on Earth, so what is 1 day in space?

I have begun to see how God is able to have a beautiful plan for each an everyone of us... Imagine yourself with a timeline right in front of your face... You are not affected by time and ie your're eternal!

(to be continued...)

Actually I lost my track of thoughts le... oops...

Leave it in the potter's hands

Today was talking to Linda then she was telling me about how some of her friends are against Israel for attacking Lebanon, so much to the extent that they hate Israel for doing so...
Indeed Israel has a cause(and a very good one), but it's reaction is totally wrong...

One way to look at it is like the Vietnam War. US was unable to decisively win the war in Vietnam. China took over but the first thing it did was to settle all diplomatic complications first.
This is also very clearly stated in the Sun Tzu's Art of War, that one cannot win the war if diplomatic ties are not built up. Hence, I believe this is the first mistake made by Israel

Another way to look at it is that the failure of Israel's attacks is due to the fact that they failed to trust in the Lord and took matters into their own hands. Indeed, when you tell God to let go, He will and tts when all the troubles begin. I was reminded of this passage from John 10:18. this situation was that Jesus was betrayed and Simon Peter drew his sword and cut off the high priest's servant's ear. And in the same situation in Matthew 26:52, Jesus told Simon Peter off and said whoever carries the sword shall perish by the sword! Instead of trusting in God that no matter how strong the enemy is or how much the enemy is provoking, God will always be there for them, Israel took the matter into her own hands just as Simon Peter did!

At this point in time I realised...
Isn't that what we always have been doing?
Always worrying about this and that...
Always taking matters into our own hands...
Always forgetting that with God all things are possible...

Lastly, I'd like to bring up this memory verse from membership class:
2Thessalonians 5:16-18
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you

Caffeine overload

This morning I woke up feeling very groggy...
Bought 2 cans of Nescafe...
After morning devotion, another cup of coffee...
Evening, during the 10 mins break in my maths lecture,
1 SHOT OF ESPRESSO!

Life Skills

I know of many people who have this attitude:
"I can do any course in uni and just get a degree. In the end, as long as I have degree, I can do any kind of job, regardless of my degree."

I know tts it's true tt you don't need the degree of a specific kind to do certain jobs.
But I believe in life skills.
I believe in learning something so tt it will help you in your work...
No pt doing something in engineering when you are going to MLM, sales, or something else tt is not related.
Firstly, you wouldn't have to motivation to study. Cause you're not going to use the skills anyway.
Secondly, you wouldn't have learnt the skills that others have learnt majoring in something related. You lose out competitively.

This is my motivation. My ultimate purpose is not to get an A, not honours, not Dean's List, not scholarship...
My ultimate goal is something that is far greater than any of this and far harder to achieve.
I want to be an expert in what I'm doing...
I remember this slogan from CCAC - Be proffesional...
Ya, that's my ultimate goal...
I want to be a proffessional...
I want to be able to do my part as a professional... It'll be super cool la...
Imagine myself giving advice to major firms... Doing research... Be able to throw up cheem theory and equations...

Ya... and to achieve tt goal I'll work hard...
I'll use all the people around me as my competitors...
I'll stress them, so that they'll be up to my challenge...
I'll put compete myself against them...
If they understand this much, I'll research to understand more...
If they at tutorial 2, I'll do tutorial 3...
If they dun understand a concept, I'll make I understanad it...
I'll study way ahead of the people around me...
No, I'm not a backstabber...
I'm just trying to be professional.

Very sian...

Still very scared that the mid terms are coming so quickly...
Even when I'm going at full-speed ahead...
I still take so long to understand the critical concepts that each and every module needs...
With each passing week, the pressure builds up...
And the only time during which this stress may be released is during the study week bah...
Only studying can relieve such a stress...

But I'm tired... Many sleepless nights have made me very tired...
Fatigue...
Yet, this is not what I fear the most...
Change, is what I fear most...

Even at year 1 I fear what's going to happen after graduation...
With every module I take, I wonder... Is this going to help me in my life?
Or am I taking this just because it's required?
Career Options? Integrated Resort? Overseas?
Life is full of unexpectancies let alone a smooth sailing journey...
Parents are happy when you graduate...
But are they happy that they have a graduate as a child,
Or are they happy that you have finally graduated and ie. grown up...
I believe it's a mixture of both bah... Not that I'm unfillial..
I'm just being practical...
I think I talk too much..

Back to physics lecture...

Dinner at Changing Appetites

Missed Sat @ 7 cause got company dinner...
Actually, they didn't really invite me...
I got the msg through Lim Jing, whom I met by chance at the bus stop at the com centre...

Quite a nice place with good food... CHANGING APPETITES @ MARINA SQUARE
Though the servings are not too wonderful, the taste is definitely worth it...
I had some fettucini while others ordered fish n chips, spaghetti, pork ribs and seafood platter...

The turnout for this outing is good... organisers are kaixiang(NTU) and Xu (NUS)
And about 20+ people turned up, kwan ming, jianliang, weiliang, tzong zhao, suan shing, beng, junhao, ah goh, tat huang, mok siwei, weijie, zhijia, wailun, malcolm, yuanbao, gang and his gf, lim jing, bryan and some more I think...

This is our first company outing, and I'm glad that we still made the effort to meet up...

Now I'm back home must get back to mugging mode...
If I were to balance work and play...
I would balance 2 hours of work to 1 hr of play...
So...
I've slacked for almost 2 days...
I need to be double productive...
I need to mug....

Flunked my lab

Today my lab was a total disaster...

It was a pretty simple lab, with cool gadgets to help to get the best answers and in turn save time.

Flunk no1. : I was wrong to believe that doing the lab report on Excel would be faster.
In the end we're not allowed to print form Excel and everything have to write by hand... sucks

Flunk no2. : I keep making silly mistakes and have to redo my tables. Not that my tables will get full marks just because I redo it. I totally heck which to keep sig fig and which to keep decimal place. In the end, everything in my table was 3 sig fig. Play safe mah.

Flunk no3. : I ran out of pencil lead all of a sudden. @#$%^ Luckily my lab mates are cool people. They even lent me correction fluid.

Flunk no4. : I dunno whether is it the temperature is too cold or what. Totally brainfreezed and the toilet is so far away. Discussion only wrote 1 paragraph. Conclusion only 1 sentence. I'm gonna be expecting trouble.

Flunk no5. : I din take into consideration the direction of the vectors. (WELL DONE!!). That means that every answer is wrong except for the last one which I wouldn't get an answer if I dun consider the direction. Hmmm.... I can see an egg flying.....

Rushed down from Science to Blk EA in just 10 mins by walking...( I started lab at 0900 and ended at 1350)Just in time for a very crowded class. Aparently the class has also a lot of make-up students, I suppose, cause the class is so crowded that there's not enough seats for everyone. Cool huh? Fortunately the class ended early at 1430(cause there was a concensus that no discussion was needed for the last qn).

Now I'm right here in the lib slacking right away. Just received the second 1/3 of my allowance for this month from my Dad. I know it's hard on him, but it's hard on me too... I can't survive on just Oreos or Hello Panda right? And I still haven't gotten my textbooks... hmmm.. This is already the 4th week le... I only got a Electrical Engineering Textbook. I still need a Physics and a Econs textbook which I can share with my bro. And I need the C programming text to catch up with the pace of the lecture.

Sigh...
Still considering whether got time to go down to Clementi Bookstore to get the books before Linda's party... Hmmm... See how bah

Mood

I think the studying is affecting everybody's mood...

Yar, tts probably why people have been guai lan and pissed at times...
Including myself...

Got a bit better... Managed to make some new friends from my class...
But unfortunately they are all guys (there're not many girls in my class in the first place)
I came to this conclusion...

If we're not happy, we dun need to sit together during lectures and make ourselves pissed off at the end of the day...
Well, I think it works for me, mood has been better...

But I still missed today's econs tutorial... damn... I actually remembered the wrong timing and ended up turning up for the class at the end of the class...
Damn sian...
Tomorrow got make-up tutorial and I got write to the coordinator to explain my absence from today's tutorial... hmmm... pray that they will believe my reason... I really hope they do...

Jokes are a plenty for today's computing lecture... Will post them on multiply bah... racists jokes though :P

And about the "her", we're just friends. I dun intend to make any approach or whatsoever. Just wanna concentrate on my studies for the time being...
So at times I would miss her but...
I think most of you who read my blog knows her... that is if there're any of you in the first place...
Hmmm... enuff of blabbering... gonna sleep... tmr's a long day

误会

我想我以上几个posts给大家带来了许多误会，再此澄清一些事：

第一：我没有女朋友，目前没有。
第二：我posts里的她，与我只是普通朋友。虽然有进展的空间但是我们只是朋友。
第三：我没有暗恋她，只不过有些时候会想起她。

就是这样，明白了吗？

对不起

I'm sorry... 在你需要人陪伴的时候我没有陪着你。

你能原谅我吗？

Bored...

Just finished EE tutorial... Quite surprised... My methods are all correct... But my math is wrong... I need to revise on my math...

Bored... Stayed up the whole of last night to mug...

Think I'm at cruising speed le...

Full Steam Ahead! Chiong-ahhhhhhhhhh!

可能是压力的关系吧。。。

可能是压力的关系吧。。。
我说话大声多了。我是多么希望我的答案是对的啊！
我‘怪懒’多了。我实在讨厌那些自以为厉害的人啊！
可能他们有理由骄傲，不过，还是很讨厌。

如果。。。

如果能让我选择。。。

我宁愿从来就不认识你。 当我看到你有男朋友时，我会心生醋意，然后对自己说：“是你的就是你的。‘命里有时终须有，命里无时莫强求’”
当我知道你有喜欢的人的时候，我又对自己说：“哎呀，又迟了一步，算了吧”

在我脑海的某一个深处，深深地刻着当我第一次遇见你的情景：
在那拥挤的巴士上，我遇见了你。我心里想：“好美啊！” 不过，当时因为不够认识彼此，有没有那个胆量，自然而然的就没有向前搭讪。那已经是四年前的事了。我不能说是在什么巴士，也不能说是在什么的情况下遇见你。那就太过明显了。我不能确定能带给你幸福，不过，我能肯定的事，我试着忘了你，但是却做不到。

所以，如果能让我选的话，我宁可从没遇见你。

酒不醉人，人自醉。。。

方才吃消夜的时候，大家看到我那赤红的脸庞，都以为我醉了。

是啊！我多么希望自己真的醉了呀！

“自古多情空于恨”我想就是这种感觉吧。虽然未把感情放进去，但心中那隐约的刺痛总是会有的，不是吗？只是区区的喝了麻辣的冬炎汤，不过我的心已经醉了。一整晚的胡说八道，就连我都不明白，为什么会这样子。

想开瓶酒来喝，但不知何时变得婆婆妈妈了。担心明天睡不醒，担心会影响学业，担心会有啤酒肚，担心伤到胃。。。

你在读吗？你了解吗？你知道你是谁吗？

孤独的Comex

又是孤独的度过了一天。。。
不知曾几何时，我又回到了孤独的过去。。。

记得小时候，六年级的时候，
我是多么的令人讨厌。
因此，孤独的度过了小学岁月。

到了中学，我为了不让自己在读过一往常难受的日子，
我拼了命的交朋友。
终于交到了一群很好的朋友，
放学后打打球，就这样度过了中学岁月。

明白了努力交朋友就不会寂寞的这个道理，
到了高中，我是更加的发奋。
还参加了学生理事会。
不错，是很快乐。
然而，最快乐的时光永远是最短暂的。
高中才读两年就毕业了。

到这里，我还不知道朋友是有阶层的。
直到国民服役，我才彻彻底底的了解这点。
人心的险恶，就是在这里看得一清二楚。
这就是“真理”！
不好意思，自从看了[钢之练金术师]之后，便“偷”了一两句话来用。

至今，我看到的，领悟到的：
刻苦耐劳平付出的努力-消遣与朋友=成功的考到飞黄腾达的文凭
这就是“等价交换”吗？
不过，我也厌倦了太多人的吵闹。
只因为，自己也是给的家带来吵闹的一分子。
不，那不是吵闹。。。是“声音污染”！
只是如果能够有多一点钱，时间就不会过得那么辛苦了。
想做什么就做什么。
打电动，打球，购物，晚上还可以去喝闷酒。

我是不是疯了？
是寂寞到疯了吗？
是想她到疯了吗？
还是她？她？还是你？
还是读书读到疯了？
不可能！我今天还没动到书呢。。。

请问你有男朋友吗？
我们可以试着交往吗？
“嗨你好，我叫XXX. 我是一个什么也不能给你的人。我是一个寂寞又乏味的人。。。”
这就是开不了口的原因。

“哇，你这人怎么那么悲观啊？堂堂一个大学生还怕没人要吗？”
“我不是怕没人要，只是。。。”
嗨算了。。。 还是等到有了解我的人才讲吧。。。

悃了，累了，伤感了。。。
要不是明天有事我早就开瓶酒来喝了。

眼泪就不会掉了。。。